Counseling, Coaching, or Self-Healing: Which Path is Right For You?

Updated: Nov 4, 2021

Today there are so many options when it comes not only to healing your mother wound, but to healing just in general.

This can be a really great thing because - yay, options!

But if you’re like most people, deciding which option or combination of options is right for you can be totally confusing.

In this article I’m covering the three main categories of options you can choose from:

  1. Counseling (I’m using this as an umbrella term to include all things therapy, psychotherapy, and counseling)

  2. Coaching

  3. Self-healing

We'll be looking at the pros and cons for each of these.

That way you can run your own numbers and find the path that’s best for you.

And remember all three can be truly wonderful approaches to mother wound healing and recovery, so it really all does come down to knowing yourself and deciding what’s right for you.

But first a quick disclaimer before we get into this.

There are many effective ways to heal the mother wound, and ultimately only you can know what's best for you.

The opinions I'm sharing with you here are based both on what I've learned from my own mother wound recovery many years ago as well as on what I've learned from thousands of mother wound survivors in my work as a mother wound specialist in private practice and my time leading the Mother Wound Project.

Which is best for you?

Ok, let's dive in!

Should you go with counseling to heal your mother wound?

Or what about coaching?

Or maybe self-healing?

Combo of all three?

Before you get overwhelmed (who wouldn't?!)

I'm breaking these down for you.

Pros. Cons. Everything.

Since there's so much to cover I'm dividing this up into two parts.

This first part looks at personal style, cost and convenience. Stay tuned for Part II.

Personal Style

Knowing your personal style can go a long way towards helping you make this decision.

Think about yourself overall.

Are you someone who’s self-motivated or are you someone who benefits from someone showing you the way?

Are you like this with some things or with everything?

Maybe you’re okay with teaching yourself things like knitting and embroidery, but when it comes to your mental health you prefer to be supported by someone who already knows what to do.

If you’re more of the do-it-yourself type, self-healing could be right for you.

If you’re someone who’s content to hop in the backseat and let the driver get you swiftly from Point A to Point B, counseling or coaching might be a better fit for you.


On average, counseling and coaching both tend to cost more than self-healing, but this isn’t a hard and fast rule by any means.

For example, depending on how you decide to go about self-healing, the cost for things like books, programs, and retreats can really add up.

A common self-healing mistake worth avoiding:

Some assume a particular option must be better simply because it’s more expensive.

But just because a program, online course, etc. costs more money, that doesn’t necessarily make it more effective.

Be wary of options that ask you to spend hundreds of dollars on something the creator has made once and sells as-is on repeat.

So think online courses, masterminds, etc. Occasionally these programs can be worth the high upfront cost, but often other options are just as effective (and sometimes even more so) for less.

Look for programs that use the subscription model.

$30 a month is way less spendy than paying the full $300 upfront.

Think of it like Netflix but for self-healing.

For a fraction of the cost you can make sure it’s worth it without going all in.

If it’s not a good fit, simply cancel your subscription and you aren’t out much.