“Rejected parents” is a term estranged parents commonly use to refer to themselves. It’s just one more way they play the victim.
Photo: Getty Images
Warning: This blog post includes real quotes from an estranged parent forum (EPF) that might be distressing to some readers. If you feel this type of information would be triggering for you, please honor yourself by skipping this particular post. It doesn’t mean you don’t belong here with us at the Mother Wound Project or that there’s something wrong with you. All it means is that every person is different and so of course what each person needs to heal from parental trauma will be different, too. Maybe this blog post about blame-shifting will be a better fit for you. Or feel free to check out our MWP Glossary!
It’s time, friend. The grisly yet oddly informative rabbit hole you’ve been so patiently awaiting is finally here. Today’s blog post marks the first post in my brand new Tales from “Rejected Parents” series. You’ve been wondering what estranged parents are thinking and now you are about to find out!
Before we jump in, I want to first give a big thank you to those who’ve been sending in receipts over the past several years from estranged parent forums (EPFs). Without your labor of love we wouldn’t be able to shine light on what’s really going on in the dark corners of the internet that are EPFs.
Looking for a way to help? We’re always accepting more screenshots from EPFs (and estranged parents just in general). If you have screenshots you would like to contribute to the MWP’s collection for use in future articles, posts, or course materials please email them to hello@motherwoundproject.com.
Without further adieu, let’s get started!
In Part 1 we’re taking an up close look at the flagrant hypocrisy of estranged parents who classify themselves as “good parents.” Because hypocrisy is one of those “time will tell” type things, screenshots were collected from one EPF over the course of several months. This made it so we could study individual estranged parents over a period of time.
Some additional context: in this particular EPF, members and admin refer to themselves as “rejected parents” more than on any other EPF. It’s their “thing.” It reads as if they’re somehow proud of failing as parents. Odd take... Regardless, the label is ironic given that 1 in 2 forum members have cut off their adult (and sometimes minor!) children instead of the other way around.
EPF Acronyms
EAC = estranged adult children
EC = estranged children
ED = estranged daughter
ES = estranged son
GC = grandchild
GD = granddaughter
GS = grandson
MJmom, “Rejected Parent” Who Walked Out on Her Daughter
MJmom: I still have no idea on the reasons, but I know I was and am a good Mom…I hope [every estranged parent] who feels bad, looks in the mirror and says" I did my best, I am a good person, and it is their loss not to know me!!!!!.
Also MJmom: ED texted her Dad for Mother's Day with pictures of the GDs. Guess he will have to get out the apron for his duel role. She is such a miserable excuse for a human being. I wish her nothing. Karma is such a female dog.
Gracie2021, “Rejected Parent” Who Abandoned Her Sons
Gracie2021: We WERE excellent parents and DO NOT deserve the disrespect now emanating from our once beloved sons. I return to Sheri's site almost daily and receive wonderful reinforcement from other broken hearted Moms and Dads.
Also Gracie2021: I have "a..es" of offspring…We are in our 70's and just want peace ! We are making our own peace just like before these "a..es" we're born.
LetItBe, “Rejected Parent” in New Jersey
LetItBe: In the end, we DID do the best we could. It’s time to embrace that we are good people & we were good mothers.
Also LetItBe: When my ED came to go through her room and get her stuff before moving to CA…I went upstairs after she left and could not believe the stuff she left behind that she obviously did not want. Funny, before she came, I took her baby book & a sweatshirt I had made for her that said I'm the Big Sister' (I had her wear when her brother was born) out of her room because I didn't want her to take them.
Happy, “Rejected Parent” of Two
Happy: I feel like I was too good of a Mom, you probably were to.
Also Happy: I always have anxiety when my semi ED calls, I see her on the caller ID and I think, Oh No It is Nightmare calling.
May, “Rejected Parent” Who Lied About Her Estrangement to Friends for a Decade
May: I found your website a couple of weeks ago and it has propelled me (and my husband 43 years married) to let go, stop trying to figure it all out—we are/WERE great parents—loving no abuse/drugs/alcohol.
Also May: I don’t like my 3 EDs. Loving, nurturing them and providing a wonderful family life, house, food, clothes, etc., vacations, educations, a great foundation for an independent life from the nest…They are nasty, self-centered, ungrateful and conceited!
AUSSIEMOM, “Rejected Parent” Who Finds Estrangement “Easier” as Her Child was Adopted
AUSSIEMOM: Like you described [estrangement], a maze of feelings…Disappointment that after years of caring so deeply as a mother, to find I was being ‘slammed’ behind my back, shock, grief, depression…
Also AUSSIEMOM: Oh heck, I swear, of course I do...I remember when I was raising my two children and two stepchildren and I told them, "if any of you think to say the F-word, you'll get your mouth washed out with soap". Guess who did it…You should have heard the other kids laughing at the supper table because he got caught and I remember well washing his mouth out with soap.
With that I’ll leave you with this: Good parents aren’t the ones getting cut off by their adult kids.
Stay tuned for Part 2!
